Archive for The Ella Files

Ella Files, Vol. V

October 2, 2008 · Filed under The Ella Files · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ella has been fixed.

I’d lie motionless on the ground, too.

It was just another morning for Ella. We got up, and let her in from her evening of slumber on the back patio. Always excited at the first sight of humanity, she wiggled into the house, and went straight for the laundry room door — behind which lies the stash of chicken jerky treats she equates with the morning’s first contact.

But today would be different. You see, dogs can’t have anything to eat for 12 hours prior to surgery. So, this would be her first disappointment of the morning.

A ride in the car? “Fabulous” she must have thought. And it was…at least at the beginning. I took Ella to a wonderland, where dozens of dogs and cats were in the same room, some on leashes, some in boxes, all with exotic scents and unfamiliar barks and meows. While we waited, we even got to take a 20-minute walk, which took us by grocery stores, different plants, several humans. “Is this heaven?” We returned to the Fantasyland of the veterinary clinic, and soon thereafter Ella’s name was announced. Her ears went up, tail started wagging, and she found herself in a back room, with strangers calling her by name, and patting her vigorously.

Then, a quick injection to the neck. “Things are getting a bit blurry. My master is leaving. I’m in a small box – I can smell the other animals, but can’t get to them. I’m getting sleepy. What’s going on?” After a long wait, she is injected again. Upon awakening, she’s still in the cage, has a shaved tummy, stitches around her swollen belly, and she’s loopy from the medication. “Something has gone terribly wrong here.”

If Ella and I could talk, and I tried to explain to her why this had to happen, what would I tell her? “I know it hurts now, but you’ll be glad we did this.” Why will she be glad? “Count it a blessing, Ella, that you can no longer reproduce.” Hmmm…somehow, I think what she’s going through has more to do with we Hartley humans enjoying OUR lives than Ella enjoying hers. Rather than experience anything positive out of this, Ella has been denied a highly instinctual passion to have pups someday. Truth be told, Ella just took one for the team.

So, I pick her up…I, the very demon who took her to this place to begin with. I take her to the very car that transported her to the scene of the crime. I take her back home…and I STILL can’t give her a chicken jerky – doctor’s orders.

And here’s where Ella disciples me yet again. I’m realizing again that, well, dogs just don’t get bitter. They don’t hold grudges. No matter what happened that day, she still saw me, and wagged her tail. She still wanted my company more than anything in the world (except maybe the jerky). I guess she is simply incapable of letting that one day’s worth of events nullify what she has come to appreciate over the past months. My anesthetized pooch, despite her awful circumstances, is at peace.

God has so much going on. The circumstances of billions of people weave in and out of his sovereign mind, and everyone seems to think that, to a degree, they are the most important person on the planet. We all tend to pray out of our self-interest, with very little consideration the fact that, on occasion, God might need for us to “take one for the team” — experience something that, to us, seems totally negative, with absolutely no silver lining — all for the ultimate good of others, and ultimately for God to be glorified most profoundly by his creation. When these circumstances happen to us, we often say things like, “I’m so mad at God right now!” Or, “How could there be a God who could let this happen?” Some of us cease believing in God’s goodness. Many of us are inclined to stay away from God rather than seek Him more. We question his care, even His sovereignty. Because we just can’t see it from His perspective…only from ours.

Could I, even if I find myself bruised, scarred, frustrated and confused, remain eager to embrace the Master, choose His company, and bring Him my affection rather than a grudge?

Ella believes I am still good. Do I believe God is still good?

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Ella Files, Vol. IV

August 18, 2008 · Filed under The Ella Files · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Back by popular demand, it’s another installment of the Ella Files (actually, just one person told me he missed them, but he’s a popular guy…)

a new word from Ella...

a new word from Ella...

Like most dogs, Ella LOVES going on walks. Even when it’s 108 degrees outside, and the pavement is scalding, Ella goes nuts over the sound of a dangling leash, and the sound of one of the few English phrases she has mastered – “wanna go for a walk?”

So excited is Ella about the walk that she can hardly sit still long enough to attach the leash. As soon as she’s tethered, she sets out, pulling the leash taut, and straining forward. This is her posture for…well, for the duration of the entire walk.

Often, along the way, she is pulling so hard that she chokes herself, and has to stop for a good cough. Then she sets out again, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the only thing causing her to choke is her own aggressiveness.

“HEEL!” This is what we tell our dogs when we are trying to train them to walk along side of us rather than way out in front of us. I’m finding out that getting your dog to heel is not just a power trip for the owner, another “trick” the dog can perform. Rather, it’s for the dog … and in this case, it’s for Ella. I want her to heel so she won’t hurt herself! So, I start making all the human rationalizations that dogs could never understand: “Doesn’t she realize that she’s hurting herself? That she won’t get there any faster by pulling so hard? That she’s making the job of being her master kind of frustrating by her behavior? Why doesn’t she just walk peacefully along with us, and enjoy our company?”

“Bill … HEEL!” – God

Ella and I have the same problem. We don’t heel for our master. Ella loves walks. I love friendships, ministry initiatives, the tasks of making life more enjoyable, making decisions. When I get an idea in my head, I want to take action, and often find myself bolting out in front of the LORD’s directions. And, in the flurry of all of my own, self-driven initiative, I can fail to hear the heart of God say, “Doesn’t he realize that he’s hurting himself? That he won’t get there any faster by pulling so hard? That he’s making the job of being her master kind of frustrating by his behavior? Why doesn’t he just walk peacefully along with Me, and enjoy My company?”

“The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.” – Psalm 37:23-24

bill

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Ella Files, Volume III

June 2, 2008 · Filed under The Ella Files · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, now that Luke Simmons included some of the Ella Files in his recent sermon (June 1), Ella has achieved near rock-star status! You’ll be glad to know that she’s not letting it get to her head (though she is considering starting a woman’s group, writing a book, and touring nationally as a speaker).

It’s time for the the latest installment, so here is Volume III.

The discipler is in. The discipler is in.

Principle 3: There is an appropriate way to respond to discipline.

Ella is a pup. She is almost full-grown on the outside, but has plenty of room to mature in her actions. There are many, many lessons she hasn’t learned yet…some, like getting the morning paper, or catching the frisbee in mid-flight, are still to be introduced. At this point, we’re still working on the basics. Sit. Don’t pee inside. Don’t go up the stairs. Don’t eat the cat.

Now, we think that Ella is a smart dog. I suppose all parents think their kids are a little brighter than the rest, but in this case, we think it’s not just subjective. Ella has learned a lot, fairly quickly. But, as with any novice on a steep learning curve, Ella blows it regularly.

Therefore, the constant refrain that echoes through the house is, “Ella! No!!!” At times I feel sorry for her, and wonder how I would feel if I constantly heard, “Bill! No!!!” I’m pretty sure such treatment would make me bitter, frustrated, and wholeheartedly wanting to get away from those legalistic people who are trying to put me in my place.

But, Ella (once again) seems to handle being disciplined with a certain panache that is modelable. Here’s what I mean.

1. Ella prefers discipline to non-involvement. When I am confronted about my wrongdoings, I can’t say that I like it. I usually know that I’m sinning, and would rather be left to myself in that knowledge. When confronted, it means that a) someone else knows about it, b) someone may have been hurt by it, and c) there are those with a hopeful expectation that I won’t do it again. Vulnerability, pain, embarrassment, and expectations…who needs ‘em? In short, my flesh prefers no contact to a reproof.

Not so with Ella. If I’m raising my voice with her, at least I’m engaged! I admit, she sometimes doesn’t know exactly what I’m trying to communicate…like this old Far Side comics points out.

Still, even when she figures out that I’m upset with her, she adopts that strange mix of ears-down-tail-between-the-legs, and wagging-tail-quiver-all-over-expectant-eyes. Even if there is a swat on her horizon, she knows that a follow-up scratch is likely coming right behind. She seems to get the idea of this verse: “It’s the child He loves that He disciplines; the child He embraces, He also corrects” (Heb. 12:6). Or, “He’s mad at me…he must really love me!”

2. Ella never carries a grudge after the disciplinary action. When I’m confronted, a have a myriad of negative emotions to weed through. “How dare you point our my faults!” “Oh, yah? Well, you’re not so hot either.” “I’m going to be so good from now on that you’ll feel sorry for saying that!” Like Ralphie in the movie “The Christmas Story,” who secretly hopes he’ll go blind from soap poisoning so his parents will be miserably sorry for their corrections, we can often carry a lingering need for retribution when disciplined.

Ella, on the other hand, I don’t get. I can get so frustrated, yell at her, and whack her backside. Then, if I say, “C’mere, Ella!”, she’s all exuberance, ready to love and play again. Sometimes I feel like I should remind her: “Uh…Ella? Not sure if you remember, but I’m the guy who just blew up at you, and spanked you.” No need…that’s in the past. She might carry some lingering fear, but there is no love loss between us. If anything, I’m the one who feels guilt for having been so vehement in my correction…but her conscience is clear!

3. Ella is genuinely sorry for the wrong that she has done. When it comes right down to it, are we sorry for our sin, or are we sorry that we get caught? Are we sorry that God has been hurt, or that we’ve lost face? Do we own up to our wrongdoing quickly and comprehensively, or do we try desperately to justify ourselves to slip out from under the accusations? Only sometimes am I sorry…and only some of those times am I sorry for the right reasons. It’s almost as though I live to satisfy my sin nature as much as possible, but stay within the legalistic bounds enough to not be convicted.

Ella is really, really sorry when she’s in trouble. She usually knows why she’s in trouble, especially when I rub her nose in it. But, she’s just not bright enough to understand the intrinsic evil in what she has done. Instead, she seems to be sorry almost exclusively because of the broken relationship between her and me. She hates this more than anything. It’s almost as though she lives for nothing but our friendship.

Can you imagine what our fellowship would be like if we adopted Ella’s approach to reproof? If we embraced it as part of the richness of being family together? If we consider faithful the wounds of a friend (Prov. 27:6), and didn’t let a rebuke distance ourselves from others? If we were emotionally driven to be at peace with the Lord and one another, and genuinely grieved when we realized our actions were creating distance between ourselves and those we love?

“Have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? ‘My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.’ God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.” (Heb. 12:5-11, The Message).

Thanks again, Ella. And thanks to all of you readers out there! You are welcome to leave your comments below.

God’s best to you, Bill

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Ella Files, Volume II

May 7, 2008 · Filed under The Ella Files · Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

(First of all, I apologize about the delay in getting Volume II of the Ella Files up on the blog…it’s been two weeks since the last entry. For those of you who really love fresh blog material, please join the Men of Mesa this month at 4thseed.wordpress.com for a daily entry all during May that will take us through the book of Acts.)

NEWS: Don’t miss the all-Mesa area BBQ in the Commons next Sunday, May 18th! For details, click “Mesa eBulletin” on your right!

ELLA AT 8 MONTHS The discipler is in.

The response to the first of the Ella Files was very positive, so let’s dive right into the next of the Principles of Discipleship, as Modeled by Ella:

Principle 2: Never Be Ashamed to Demand Your Master’s Attention!

I face a challenge every morning. I really, really enjoy my alone time. I make my gouda-cheese bagel and coffee, grab my Bible and latest book, and sit on the front porch as the sun rises, the fountain gurgling, the birds chirping…a bit of Eden in East Mesa.

But now, I have to be sneaky. Ella, who is not a particularly sound sleeper, is always lying in the crate just outside the kitchen window. If she hears me, the fridge, the coffee maker, the sink, or an opening door of any kind, she’s up, and ready to go! She desperately wants to greet me, be with me, play with me, you name it! So, the ritual begins…nose to the glass, paws to the glass, a few whimpers, a crescendo to the yips, and worst of all, the puppy-dog stare that communicates that she’ll be the saddest of all of God’s creations if I fail to usher her into my world.

So, I succumb. Rather than a peaceful quiet time, I’m now offering a few pats, yelling at her to stay in the yard, guilt-tripped into throwing her tennis ball, pushing her away from my cheese, getting my ankles licked, etc. All this time, I’m looking at her thinking “why can’t she just lie there on the ground next to me, and enjoy a moment of spiritual reflection?”

‘Cause that’s what I would do. ‘Cause that’s what I do.

Then, I see the imaginary bubble appearing over Ella’s head, which has her saying… “And that’s why your such a miserable fuddy-duddy, and why your time with God is so listless and uninspiring. Why don’t you go to God every day like I (try to) go to you?!?

“Why don’t you, when you first wake up, and see the glimpses of God’s glory at the beginning of the day, immediately seek out your Father? Don’t you want His eye contact? Don’t you want His stroke? Don’t you want His provision? Don’t you want to have fun with Him? If so, why don’t you go to Him, unabashed, and relentlessly demand everything of Him you can get … like I do to you?”

She’s right, of course. Too often, I think God is like me … that my tugging on His celestial sleeve will be a burden to Him. So, rather than seek a wild, reckless relationship with Him, I settle for a lowest-common-denominator version: a few verses, a few paragraphs, a few token prayers.

And finally this. Funny thing … even though Ella can “ruin my quiet time”, would I really want her to act any other way than the way she does? Do I really want her to ignore me in the morning, or to not exhibit a huge desire for contact? Of course not. So too with the Lord, I’m convinced. Unlike me, God never grows weary of the passion of his children, and is always ready to love us up, play with us, and be the best doggone master a person could wish for.

So, tomorrow morning, let’s get our tennis balls, and jump up into the lap of the master.

God’s best to us all, Bill

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The Ella Files, Volume I

April 24, 2008 · Filed under The Ella Files, Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Today, this blog takes an unusual turn. Ellen Marrs, our Mesa Area Administrator, has promoted this blog as an opportunity for you to get to know what’s on your pastor’s heart and mind. Well, it’s time I let you all in on a relationship I have been establishing over the past two months that has served to enhance my spiritual life, and take me to new levels of formation and direction through modeling.

I’m talking about my dog.

In January, our family went to see some puppies – half-breeds, part black Lab, part Border Collie. We found a cute little thing, put down some cash, and took her home. After tossing around about 500 potential names, we landed on Ella … after Ella Fitzgerald, one of our favorite jazz singers. Now, I knew that Ella would be fun to have around. I also knew that, as a puppy, she would drive us all crazy at times. What I didn’t anticipate was how much this hound would teach me.

So, today is the first installment of Principles of Discipleship, as Modeled by Ella.

Principle 1: People are the coolest thing in the world!

From the time we brought Ella home, she made two things perfectly clear – I want to be with people, and I don’t want to be alone. If there’s a person in the room, that’s where Ella parks herself – at that person’s feet. And, when we take Ella for a walk, it only magnifies this priority of hers. As we walk down our usually-deserted suburban streets, and another human being emerges, the leash is immediately taut from Ella’s insistence that we get to that person as quickly as possible. Funny…I don’t join her in her enthusiasm, but rather find myself wondering about that person – “Do I know her? Is he friendly? Could this be an evangelistic moment? Is she a salesperson? A criminal? Should I stay on this side of the street, just in case?” Ella bypasses such reflection, and sees only a possible moment of interaction – a pat on the head, on the tummy if lucky, a new smell, a new person to lick…that’s all she sees.

In short, she thinks people are great! And…well, I don’t. Not as much, anyway.

Contemporary life has put an even greater distance between us and “strangers.” We’re a fearful bunch, and want to keep ourselves and our families safe from people who might do us harm. “Better safe than sorry,” we say … so we keep our kids from playing in public spaces unattended, riding bikes to the store, or even hanging out with questionable playmates in the neighborhood (all of these things I did as a kid, and all of them are sources of fond memories today). But it’s not just kids. We like our drive throughs, our self-checkouts, our ATMs, our self-service stations … anything that will limit our contact with strangers. When we shop for a home, words like “exclusive” and “secluded” tantalize us. As a result of this brand of contemporary living, most of us have only limited contact with our neighbors … and this doesn’t really even bother us.

The scriptures, and the exemplary life of Jesus, know nothing of such isolation. God clearly points out that human beings are the pinnacle of creation, the 6th-day finale, called out as “very good”. Somehow, though, we would rather stare at the ocean, the grand canyon, or even the specimens at the zoo rather than stare into the eyes of our extraordinary neighbors around us! Jesus regularly took the time to interact warmly and deeply with people who lived on the outer edges of the community (woman at the well, Zaccheus, the man living in the tombs, the lepers, ex-prostitutes, paralytics, tax collectors, blue collar fisherman, political radicals…you get the picture). He even told the story of the Samaritan man who modeled proper community involvement by stopping to help someone may not have even liked.

Somehow, when it comes to loving people, I think Ella is more like Jesus than I am. My prayer is that I would keep my leash taut at all times in my desire to reach out to the wonderful people all around me. Hopefully, I’ll do Ella proud.

God’s best to you all, Bill

(Looking for practical information about Mesa Area Ministries, or East Valley Bible Church? Click on the menu offerings on your right, particularly the Mesa Ebulletin, and you’ll find what you’re looking for!)

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